So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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