She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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