its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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