i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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