Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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