$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
