He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize