found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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