If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize