I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
