Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
