just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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