Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Randomize
