Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
