I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Randomize
