When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
