So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
