She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
