And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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