My brain says no but my pants say off.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
