I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
