In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
