I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize