He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
