i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
