I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
