2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize