yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize