Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
