I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
is wine microwaveable?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
