You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
