Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
