I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize