Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
