No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
