yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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