Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize