ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
