How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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