i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
