Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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