We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
