I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
