she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
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