sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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