I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
