We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
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