? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
