i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
