I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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