dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize