you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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