we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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