In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
