Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
